So this post isn't all about my journey, well in a weird kind of twisted way it is but in some ways it's not. You'll see what I mean.
So tonight was my first "real" meeting as staff. Welcoming people, writing of cards, tallying up, learning what to do and when... all that sort of good stuff and the continuous talking. I dont think I've talked that much in a long time, well not at one time. Must remember a bottle of water for next time... All in all a rather pleasant experience, no one seeemd to be a bit iffy about a "bloke" being there. So it's all good.
Now as you may have read...and if you haven't you should go back and look. I had a little bit of a slip while on my journey. Yes it was only day three but I dont think anyone could honestly say that they followed the plan strictly when they first started out, we are after all only human and potato chips are a hard habit to break... My slip was chippies and not just a few but a whole big bag... and lets not forget that 18 point piece of cake.... still a little irked about that one. Anyway there's this marvellous thing called activity points which lets you earn points for being, well, Active. I've got a reasonably physical job, I'm a commercial cleaner, which involves a lot of walking, bending, scrubbing, mopping of floors and lets not forget vacuuming. Which by the way you can actually work a bit of a sweat up if you do it for long enough. Luckily my job allows for at least... if I take it easy about an hour worth of vacuuming and if I move my butt I can do it in half that time and get a bit of a sweat going on. So thats exactly what I did... I hauled ass. By the time I was finished I was drenched and no i couldn't sing let alone talk... so I must have been moving. It turns out that I didn't really earn very many activity points at all... in fact just 3, which doesnt even equate to anywhere near the needed amount for anything "nice" on my way home. So I set the alarm and was in the process of locking the door, thats when I heard...the giggle...
Now most people have a fight or flight thing happen when they find themselves confronted with something that they're not expecting. I seem to have a step before that.... Assess and then decide what it is I'm going to do. I'm not a violent man, but when confronted with a situation where something needs to be done I'm usually doing the one thing most people wouldn't do... even if that does mean chasing the two wankers down the street who have just tried to steal the pushchair off the front porch, even if while I'm chasing them down the street I realise I'm only in my boxers. So as I'm standing there with the key in the door and I hear "the giggle" I look at the reflection in the window in front of me and see a scream mask coming towards me, it's Halloween and some douchebag and his mates have decided it'd be fun to try and scare the cleaner at the school. It still boggles my mind as to what drunk teenagers find amusing. Now most people would freeze to the spot or run to their car... What do I do? I turn and in my biggest scarey voice go "RRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHH" at him, to which he stops, swears and takes off. This is when his mates step out from the shadows and laughing hard. Once again the heart is racing as I dont know what they're going to do, so I, as casual as I can, walk to my car, get in lock the doors, start it and make my way home.
At this stage I'm feeling pretty chuffed with myself and decide (god only knows why) that I deserve a treat for being so brave... Any excuse will do right? So I pull into the garage and get a snickers bar. I don't know the point value and at that stage I really dont care. I haven't really eaten all day and only had two coffee's so far, lots of apples and an orange so I'm pretty safe in saying that I have the points for it. I'll worry about pointing it later when I get home and just enjoy the gooey caramel, chocolately, peanut goodness thats passing my lips... trust me when I say I savoured every single bite, yeah ok so that feeling didn't last long.
I get home and check the oven, yup there's dinner, shrivelled chops, cooked in beef dripping... mushy spud... over cooked cauliflower. I know she tries, she's 87 and she wants to feel useful... I REALLY need to buy her a cookbook or at least suggest to her she buys those microwavable WW meals, I'd be quite happy to give her more money each week if need be. It'd be cheaper and mean a lot less food being thrown out. The dog looks at me with one eye from it's bed, lifts it's head slightly, "Sorry Oscar no sausages tonight", He sniffs at me and goes back to sleep. Ahh well better than nothing. I eat what I can/ feel like eating and think about going back to the garage and getting another snickers bar. It's late I can't be assed and tomorrow is always another day. I'll just guestimate at what the point value is and call it 18 points. I'm still under for the day. I wonder if I limit myself to 4 or 5 less points over the next few days if that'll equal out the splurge form the weekend. I must remember to ask Ali this tomorrow... oh wait... it's after midnight.... it's tomorrow already.
Monday, 31 October 2011
Sunday, 30 October 2011
Day 4 - Forgive me for I have sinned
Ok so after yesterdays little dance with the dark side, I had my doubts, it's going to be tough. I mean if I want a bag of chips I'm going to go down to the shop and get one and probably a bag of fruit jubes or a party mix pack at the same time... come home and eat the lot in ONE sitting and not think twice about it and to be completely honest that's what I did, well the chippy part anyway.
Although I may have felt "good" while Buying these demon "munchies" while eating them.... maybe not so much afterwards and most definitely NOT this morning.
Now unbeknownest to most people many of those potato chips and lollies contain a substance called Phenylalanine, it's an essential amino acid commonly found in the breast milk of mammals and is used in the manufacture of drink and food products. Now if anyone has read the warning labels on those packages there will normally be a warning saying that it contains phenylalanine and that the recommended usage is X amount in a day.
There's a reason they put this on the packages and there is no easy nice way to put this...a laxative effect. Yup... don't trust your farts for at least the next 24 hours.
So with three days of solid fruit eating... I've probably eaten more fruit in the last 3 days then I have in the last two years, and the mix of chippies and lollies... you can just imagine the result.
Mr Apple I hate you... But I hate Mr Potato chip even more. You were so kind to me in the past... why have you decided to Smite me like this????
Weeklies gone... probably next weeks as well.
I guess I'm just going to have to move a little faster while I'm vacuuming my schools tonight in between toilet stops.
As Olivia Newton John once said.... Let's get Physical....
Although I may have felt "good" while Buying these demon "munchies" while eating them.... maybe not so much afterwards and most definitely NOT this morning.
Now unbeknownest to most people many of those potato chips and lollies contain a substance called Phenylalanine, it's an essential amino acid commonly found in the breast milk of mammals and is used in the manufacture of drink and food products. Now if anyone has read the warning labels on those packages there will normally be a warning saying that it contains phenylalanine and that the recommended usage is X amount in a day.
There's a reason they put this on the packages and there is no easy nice way to put this...a laxative effect. Yup... don't trust your farts for at least the next 24 hours.
So with three days of solid fruit eating... I've probably eaten more fruit in the last 3 days then I have in the last two years, and the mix of chippies and lollies... you can just imagine the result.
Mr Apple I hate you... But I hate Mr Potato chip even more. You were so kind to me in the past... why have you decided to Smite me like this????
Weeklies gone... probably next weeks as well.
I guess I'm just going to have to move a little faster while I'm vacuuming my schools tonight in between toilet stops.
As Olivia Newton John once said.... Let's get Physical....
Day 3 - Meetings and Breakfast... Oh dear
Oh dear is right...
"this is going to test your mental fortitude" Thats all I remember her saying and she was right. First time ordering food from a cafe. Now usually I don't worry about it and it has never crossed my mind before. Scanning through the menu.. oh good god it all looks good. So I order a coffee, yup 4 points gone... this time I made sure it was trim :)
It's suggested to me that maybe I ask about the table (we're all on the "journey") as to what others are having and that may help me make up my mind.
"Corn fritters"
"Pancakes"
"French toast"
Yeah not sounding appealing yet.... may have to go with the fren....
"Egg's Benedict"
ch toas.... I'll have what she's having....Aww yeah fuck the rules... If it doesnt get tracked then it doesnt count right?..... Met with laughter... high fives... fist pumping and then the sudden knowledge that my leader is sitting beside me giving me "the look" well screw it... it'll probably be the only meal I eat today anyway.
So I throw caution to the wind and GOD DAMN that was brillant. I'm full, satisfied and a little content. Takeaway coffee to go and off to a meeting.
Meeting goes well...apart from the car I reversed into in the carpark... thank god they were pretty good about it all and the fact gthat I'm insured. Grapes, coffee and water... well I suppose I only have to point that coffee so thats all good. I'll do that later. Signed some paperwork... I'm the only MALE meeting team member in Christchurch, I think, at this stage...The token male... I've been the token darkie but never the token male before. Ahhh well.
Meeting ends, and it's a stop at the coffee shop for coffee and cake. Well I've blown out todays points so I might as well make the most of it Mud cake with cream and alarge coffee. I'm definately not going to be hungry when I get home, so may be able to avoid the fat trap that may or may not be awaiting me, my grandmothers cooking.
Nope no such luck, it's there waiting for me... chicken tenders, fried eggs and undercooked chips... so I eat the chicken tenders, mush up the eggs into the chips and feed the chips to the dog. Which just sits there looking at me waiting for the sausages... It's ok.. I think we're having them again tomorrow night. I really should buy that woman a cookbook.
I pull out my guide and start flicking through things and pointing out the food intake for the day, yeah ok so I got the guilts and was a little curious about what I'd packed away today.... the breakfast/lunch wasn't so bad, only ended up being 15 points.. I can handle that.. so thats 19 for the day so far... add another coffee, that's 23points... coffee at meeting makes it 25... coffee after meeting... 29... AWW SHIT!.
Some serious and frantic facebook messaging later....one serve of that cake is 9 points and because there is no way that was 100grams better double it... CRAP 18points for a piece of cake.... and it didn't even leave me with a smile... FFFAAAAAAARRRRRRRKKKKKKKK!
No... no thats cool... I have my weeklies I can use. It's ok, I'll just start subtracting from them... 36 points gone for the day and with dinner thats 14.... fuck 14 weeklies gone as well...
now it's 10:36 pm and the hunger pains are starting to kick in....
Oh look what do we have here....
Hello Mr Apple... I think you and me are going to form a special relationship over the coming months
"this is going to test your mental fortitude" Thats all I remember her saying and she was right. First time ordering food from a cafe. Now usually I don't worry about it and it has never crossed my mind before. Scanning through the menu.. oh good god it all looks good. So I order a coffee, yup 4 points gone... this time I made sure it was trim :)
It's suggested to me that maybe I ask about the table (we're all on the "journey") as to what others are having and that may help me make up my mind.
"Corn fritters"
"Pancakes"
"French toast"
Yeah not sounding appealing yet.... may have to go with the fren....
"Egg's Benedict"
ch toas.... I'll have what she's having....Aww yeah fuck the rules... If it doesnt get tracked then it doesnt count right?..... Met with laughter... high fives... fist pumping and then the sudden knowledge that my leader is sitting beside me giving me "the look" well screw it... it'll probably be the only meal I eat today anyway.
So I throw caution to the wind and GOD DAMN that was brillant. I'm full, satisfied and a little content. Takeaway coffee to go and off to a meeting.
Meeting goes well...apart from the car I reversed into in the carpark... thank god they were pretty good about it all and the fact gthat I'm insured. Grapes, coffee and water... well I suppose I only have to point that coffee so thats all good. I'll do that later. Signed some paperwork... I'm the only MALE meeting team member in Christchurch, I think, at this stage...The token male... I've been the token darkie but never the token male before. Ahhh well.
Meeting ends, and it's a stop at the coffee shop for coffee and cake. Well I've blown out todays points so I might as well make the most of it Mud cake with cream and alarge coffee. I'm definately not going to be hungry when I get home, so may be able to avoid the fat trap that may or may not be awaiting me, my grandmothers cooking.
Nope no such luck, it's there waiting for me... chicken tenders, fried eggs and undercooked chips... so I eat the chicken tenders, mush up the eggs into the chips and feed the chips to the dog. Which just sits there looking at me waiting for the sausages... It's ok.. I think we're having them again tomorrow night. I really should buy that woman a cookbook.
I pull out my guide and start flicking through things and pointing out the food intake for the day, yeah ok so I got the guilts and was a little curious about what I'd packed away today.... the breakfast/lunch wasn't so bad, only ended up being 15 points.. I can handle that.. so thats 19 for the day so far... add another coffee, that's 23points... coffee at meeting makes it 25... coffee after meeting... 29... AWW SHIT!.
Some serious and frantic facebook messaging later....one serve of that cake is 9 points and because there is no way that was 100grams better double it... CRAP 18points for a piece of cake.... and it didn't even leave me with a smile... FFFAAAAAAARRRRRRRKKKKKKKK!
No... no thats cool... I have my weeklies I can use. It's ok, I'll just start subtracting from them... 36 points gone for the day and with dinner thats 14.... fuck 14 weeklies gone as well...
now it's 10:36 pm and the hunger pains are starting to kick in....
Oh look what do we have here....
Hello Mr Apple... I think you and me are going to form a special relationship over the coming months
Day 2 - Well you can't sleep it off
Nope you Can't.... Not at all, doesn't work... and neither does thinking about a double quarter pounder with large fries and a coke.
More coffee.. My consumption of coffee has reduced drastically since the other day, I guess I'm becoming more aware of what goes in. Coke itself, the cola, is 3ish points for a glass... not a big glass, but a 250ml or 12oz glass. thats a lot... I can go through a 1.5 litre bottle in a day... that's going to be costly... although coke zero and diet coke are 0 points. tastes like shit but hey it's coke, those bastards should be paying me royalties for the amount of money I spend on that shit a week, bit like the coffee shop owner I get my coffee from. I'm sure I just brought his new set of mag wheels and then they have the cheek to put the prices up... I suppose someone has to pay for his transgender operation.
More apples and oranges today, they're not that bad.. well not really.
3 pm 28 points left, god only knows what has been cooked for dinner, I'm just going to guestimate it. I didn't eat it all... Ate the veggies, pushed some over done mashed spud about the plate and fed the sausages to the dog. I hope the little fucker doesnt die from a heart attack. I'm going to pity that dog in a few weeks. It's going to be the fattest chihuahua cross about.
9 points left for the day and I'm not actually hungry. Ahhh well
More coffee.. My consumption of coffee has reduced drastically since the other day, I guess I'm becoming more aware of what goes in. Coke itself, the cola, is 3ish points for a glass... not a big glass, but a 250ml or 12oz glass. thats a lot... I can go through a 1.5 litre bottle in a day... that's going to be costly... although coke zero and diet coke are 0 points. tastes like shit but hey it's coke, those bastards should be paying me royalties for the amount of money I spend on that shit a week, bit like the coffee shop owner I get my coffee from. I'm sure I just brought his new set of mag wheels and then they have the cheek to put the prices up... I suppose someone has to pay for his transgender operation.
More apples and oranges today, they're not that bad.. well not really.
3 pm 28 points left, god only knows what has been cooked for dinner, I'm just going to guestimate it. I didn't eat it all... Ate the veggies, pushed some over done mashed spud about the plate and fed the sausages to the dog. I hope the little fucker doesnt die from a heart attack. I'm going to pity that dog in a few weeks. It's going to be the fattest chihuahua cross about.
9 points left for the day and I'm not actually hungry. Ahhh well
Day 2 - It's midnight
YES MIDNIGHT!
There are only so many apples or oranges you can eat before you really start to consider cheating you way through the rest of the day.
No one would know if I sat here and ate a bag of potato chips... well actually they would, it'd show on the scales next week... only 6 days till weigh in.
Perhaps just one more apple.... although a bag of fruit jubes sounds really good about now... they've got fruit in them... they must be a fruit right? Well actually "No"
SHIT!
Perhaps bed is the best thing after all...
I wonder if I could sleep the weight off?
There are only so many apples or oranges you can eat before you really start to consider cheating you way through the rest of the day.
No one would know if I sat here and ate a bag of potato chips... well actually they would, it'd show on the scales next week... only 6 days till weigh in.
Perhaps just one more apple.... although a bag of fruit jubes sounds really good about now... they've got fruit in them... they must be a fruit right? Well actually "No"
SHIT!
Perhaps bed is the best thing after all...
I wonder if I could sleep the weight off?
Day 1 - Holy Jesus fucking Christ
Ok so a good friend of mine finally managed to get me to go along to Weight Watchers.
Bold move on my part, if you saw me you'd probably ask....WHY? And to answer that is a bit of a long story which I won't bother you with... oh ok I will then.
Many moons ago about 17 or 18 or was that 20 years I dont know but it was a long time ago, I was the chubby kid at school. The one the P.E teacher picked on, the one that got picked last for everything, the one that if they HAD to chose me they also got to pick someone else as well. As if having an extra person on their team was going to make a difference. Dicks!!! anyway... I was rather large, 5 foot 7 inches of pure lard. I weighed in at somewhere around 90 odd kilo and was the butt of most jokes that went around school. I wore a size 92 pant and even that was tight. Once I left school however the weight dropped faster than a fast thing. I had Ab's... was slender and had some muscle definition. All of that changed about a year ago. There was an event in Christchurch, a series of Earthquakes and the work started to drop off and the weight started to creep back on. Now I've heard about the carrot and corn fairy, that mysterious little creature that tops up your stomach with carrots and corn the night before a big night out on the turps. Everone at some stage has experienced this little bastard. You've just downed 8 tequila slammers and need to get the vile substance out of you again and afterwards...standing there wiping your mouth, doing the drunken spit or picking chunks out of your hair (if it's long enough and that "friend" you have didn't hold your hair back) there's always carrots and corn... no matter what... I just dont get it... even if you haven't eaten carrots or corn for months, it's there. But back to this bastardy "Fat Fairy" who seems to be adding to my waistline and ass, I've had to revert to my much loved "Fat Jeans" the ones saved for special occassions like washing day when they're the last pair of pants left because everything else is dirty, but god are they comfortable. The Ab's are gone and have been replaced by one of those mini kegs. Dad had one of those, except he looked like pooh bear. Which leads me into the next bit about weight issues. My family.
I'll put it into perspective. I'm Grandchild 48 of about 200 (well that was the count at the last family reunion and they keep breeding) it's a big Maori family, Big might not be the best word, there's a genetic trait that seems to run in the family, heart disease, type two diabetes, heart failure and very few seem to be less than 100kg. Everytime I went up to see them over the last 8 years they were always trying to feed me up, along with anyone else that was less than the weight of a minivan. Needless to say they're all rather large and I can see myself starting to creep back up into the higher weight range and possibly one day be one of them, sitting round waiting for the next game of housie to start and complaining about why lunch or dinner is taking to long to cook.
So getting back to what I originally started on about, weight watchers, joining and having the biggest JESUS FUCKING CHRIST moment in a long time. With WW you point your food, every food has a point value and you're allocated so many points for the day. Now they dont tell you want you can eat, but if you over indulge then you use more points and therefore have to resort to 0 point foods. Coolness... it was working out for me really well. I'm allowed 36 points in a day and then there are 49 points for splurging each week. Excellent. So Friday afternoon I've had it all explained to me I've started to track my intake of food ... 8 points for coffee's for the day... cool, I can handle that. My main meal is dinner at night so that leaves me with 28 points for the rest of the day. I made the conscience decision not to use my weeklies as I could use them if I decide to do a 3am maccers run... Boss burger 19pps... cheese burger something like 8pps. Sweet 28 points and I know I'll probably need them for my grandmothers cooking... it's either burnt to a crisp, boiled to shit or deep fried. But wait a minute its Friday and that means... AWWW YEAH... FRIDAY NIGHT BURGERS....Bacon, egg and cheese burger. yup been looking forward to that all day. Excellent.... So I get home, get some money and go round to the chippie and get the friday night meal.... come home, sit down eat it and then remember I have to point it.... YOU FUCKING WHAT....16 points... gone... one meal.... SHIT! and I'm still hungry.. FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!. 12 points left..... no wait I had another coffee on my way to work... better add that one.... there goes another 4 and then there was one after work.... bye bye another 4... 4 points left, wonder what I can find worth 4 points at home?...looking...looking then it dawns....shit wait a minute they weren't trim milk... CRAP! there goes my final 4 points....0 points left for the day... tempting to start in on the weeklies but... it's only day one and I don't know if the leader is going to want to see my tracker book.... I guess it's apples and oranges for me for the rest of the day.... is it midnight yet?
Bold move on my part, if you saw me you'd probably ask....WHY? And to answer that is a bit of a long story which I won't bother you with... oh ok I will then.
Many moons ago about 17 or 18 or was that 20 years I dont know but it was a long time ago, I was the chubby kid at school. The one the P.E teacher picked on, the one that got picked last for everything, the one that if they HAD to chose me they also got to pick someone else as well. As if having an extra person on their team was going to make a difference. Dicks!!! anyway... I was rather large, 5 foot 7 inches of pure lard. I weighed in at somewhere around 90 odd kilo and was the butt of most jokes that went around school. I wore a size 92 pant and even that was tight. Once I left school however the weight dropped faster than a fast thing. I had Ab's... was slender and had some muscle definition. All of that changed about a year ago. There was an event in Christchurch, a series of Earthquakes and the work started to drop off and the weight started to creep back on. Now I've heard about the carrot and corn fairy, that mysterious little creature that tops up your stomach with carrots and corn the night before a big night out on the turps. Everone at some stage has experienced this little bastard. You've just downed 8 tequila slammers and need to get the vile substance out of you again and afterwards...standing there wiping your mouth, doing the drunken spit or picking chunks out of your hair (if it's long enough and that "friend" you have didn't hold your hair back) there's always carrots and corn... no matter what... I just dont get it... even if you haven't eaten carrots or corn for months, it's there. But back to this bastardy "Fat Fairy" who seems to be adding to my waistline and ass, I've had to revert to my much loved "Fat Jeans" the ones saved for special occassions like washing day when they're the last pair of pants left because everything else is dirty, but god are they comfortable. The Ab's are gone and have been replaced by one of those mini kegs. Dad had one of those, except he looked like pooh bear. Which leads me into the next bit about weight issues. My family.
I'll put it into perspective. I'm Grandchild 48 of about 200 (well that was the count at the last family reunion and they keep breeding) it's a big Maori family, Big might not be the best word, there's a genetic trait that seems to run in the family, heart disease, type two diabetes, heart failure and very few seem to be less than 100kg. Everytime I went up to see them over the last 8 years they were always trying to feed me up, along with anyone else that was less than the weight of a minivan. Needless to say they're all rather large and I can see myself starting to creep back up into the higher weight range and possibly one day be one of them, sitting round waiting for the next game of housie to start and complaining about why lunch or dinner is taking to long to cook.
So getting back to what I originally started on about, weight watchers, joining and having the biggest JESUS FUCKING CHRIST moment in a long time. With WW you point your food, every food has a point value and you're allocated so many points for the day. Now they dont tell you want you can eat, but if you over indulge then you use more points and therefore have to resort to 0 point foods. Coolness... it was working out for me really well. I'm allowed 36 points in a day and then there are 49 points for splurging each week. Excellent. So Friday afternoon I've had it all explained to me I've started to track my intake of food ... 8 points for coffee's for the day... cool, I can handle that. My main meal is dinner at night so that leaves me with 28 points for the rest of the day. I made the conscience decision not to use my weeklies as I could use them if I decide to do a 3am maccers run... Boss burger 19pps... cheese burger something like 8pps. Sweet 28 points and I know I'll probably need them for my grandmothers cooking... it's either burnt to a crisp, boiled to shit or deep fried. But wait a minute its Friday and that means... AWWW YEAH... FRIDAY NIGHT BURGERS....Bacon, egg and cheese burger. yup been looking forward to that all day. Excellent.... So I get home, get some money and go round to the chippie and get the friday night meal.... come home, sit down eat it and then remember I have to point it.... YOU FUCKING WHAT....16 points... gone... one meal.... SHIT! and I'm still hungry.. FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!. 12 points left..... no wait I had another coffee on my way to work... better add that one.... there goes another 4 and then there was one after work.... bye bye another 4... 4 points left, wonder what I can find worth 4 points at home?...looking...looking then it dawns....shit wait a minute they weren't trim milk... CRAP! there goes my final 4 points....0 points left for the day... tempting to start in on the weeklies but... it's only day one and I don't know if the leader is going to want to see my tracker book.... I guess it's apples and oranges for me for the rest of the day.... is it midnight yet?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)