Day 16

Awesome...

Should be a HUGE loss this week... Raw mashed spud... chicken that still has blood in it.

I do love the woman.... I have to she's my grandmother... but I get the feeling she's actually trying to poison me.

Suddenly I dont feel so bad about using 7 points on a Luxury Flake

Day 15 thru to whatever day it is now

I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around day 19. I'm not entirely sure....  The last few days have seemed to run into each other forming one big, long, continuous want for Mr Potato Chip.

During the last few days, I thought I would tempt the fates and buy a bag of Fruit Jubes, just to test the whole notion of whether or not I could stop at the 5 pieces for 2 points....half an hour later and the bag empty I guess that answered that question. Works out to be 16 points for a bag and although it satisfied the craving for something sweet, it was neither filling or healthy. I think I would have been better off scoffing a whole box of Rich Toffe Bars... at least they're 12 points for a box. Now before anyone says.... "But there's only 5 in a box so thats 10pps." They're cumulative in points. I would have saved myself 4 points and actually been full.

So as I sit here eating my fifth apple for the day... it really makes me wonder why the bloody hell I did that. I knew I wouldn't stop at just 5 pieces.... maybe 5 handfuls. I mean... I have two hands... why let one feel useless by not filling it with the same as the other.

And No Ali I'm not trying to cut out points just to lose the weight. I'm actually growing acustomed to apples.

Now the reason why I said that is once upon a time, usaully over the christmas period when work was a little thin on the ground due to holidays, I'd put on a couple or 5 kilos. To try and counter that I'd try and not eat for a couple of days each week or skip meals. Nothing hugely noticable to those around me. I'd usually use the excuse..."Nah I'm not hungry" or "I'll grab something later"  Once work started up again it'd be all on. no pantry was safe, well... when I had the time to get to it. Nothing really healthy about that. Which is one of the things I quite like about WW. As I learn more about the program I'm learning that there are a LOT more foods out there that actually wont make me fat...well ok fatter, (Probably not the right analogy, but it's late, I'm tired and it makes sense to me)  Like Apples.....FRIGGING APPLES. As far as I was once concerned EVERYTHING had the potential to make me gain weight. When in actual fact it wasn't everything at all.  Just certain things, well most things that I was putting into me weren't exactly high on healthy scale. Salads for one never passed my lips. I'd even take the lettuce, tomato and carrot out of filled rolls.

Day 13 and 14

Another day of combined posts.... It's not that I'm getting bored with doing this... it's more a case of finding the time... *sigh* roll on Christmas I say and all the joys that's going to bring....

Weigh day happened again this week and as I was stepping off the scales I was a little doubtful of the amount that was being recorded....

"Are you sure.... shouldn't that be XX.X"
Just as a side note... I may have had my past weight disclosed to just about anyone who has listened but at this stage... my current weighings... well they'll be between me and Ali for the time being. Sorry but it's just one of those things... which is why I don't weigh in, in front of other people. Sorry.

Well.... I was positive that it should have been less. By at least 2kg...

"No... thats right... its still an 800g loss"

Well that was better than I expected... Although I hadn't been tempted by Mr potato chip and I had managed to skip a couple of my Grandmothers shrivelled meals. Seriously who's going to eat a meal that's been sitting in a microwave for a couple of hot days... It's really got to make you think.

Now I said I hadn't been tempted by mr Potato Chip I had however been tempted by Mrs Smoked Chicken and Cranberry Pannini. The Bitch. Not once but twice this week.

As many have heard I'm Ali's friend who could eat just about whatever they liked and it not have any consequences, but alas it started to catch up with me. Those that have sat in on her meetings for the last week will still be able to see her fist pump about that and where some people joke about "Quake weight" in my case it's actually an excuse... the Quake happened work dropped off and I ate due to boredom. Well I had to do something with my time...

Word of caution.... those Lasagne Toppers from BP.... 10pps EACH... and you know you need two to feel full.... so a meal for 20pps.... JESUS... thats almost as bad as friday night takeaways... well no actually it's worse. Bloody Hell. Thankfully I'd racked up 18 Activity points this week. Thinking about Friday Night takeaways this week neither me nor my Grandmother felt like "Something greasy" so I suggested getting dinner instead.... and SHOCK HORROR... I found myself looking at Green stuff in the Chiller at the supermarket.... So pretty much tonights takeaways consisited of some cold cuts from the deli and *GASP* Salad. What makes this even more Horrific is the fact that that would be the second time this week I ate rabbit food.

There are several events in history where people say...
"Where were you on the day Blah blah happened."

The moon landing...
The Challenger shuttle...
Lady Diana Dies in a Paris Tunnel...
9/11...
John Ate Salad of his own free will

What's next?... God forbid I actually start exercising.... no that sounds like far too much hard work to me

Day 10 thru 12

Ok so I haven't done a blog over the past few days as nothing really exciting has happened, no real issues with the dreaded Potato chip so perhaps like the smoker, the habit of eating because I was bored may have been broken. Perhaps... maybe not, I just dont know.

I have been using the pedometer (Slight chuckle to myself') for the last few days and have managed to clock up an extra 9 points and as these last for a week, perhaps I may just save them up for a 3am maccers run.... but then again maybe not. Even though I could use them for food it may be best just to keep them to the side and use them as a sort of record for my activity level for the week and just try and better it next week. I'll see what the craving monster thinks later in the week. Besides if I stick to the plan and not have the BIG bags of potato chips then I actually have trouble using the points I'm allocated.

I've started reading the biography on Steve Jobs, the re-inventor of the portable music player, Macintosh, cellphone and all those other great Apple products we can't seem to live without. So not only am I eating tonnes of apples now I'm bloody reading about them too Anyway... the first few chapters are about him growing up and going to school and just where and when he found his passion to be electronics. While reading I thought it sounded all a little to familair and then remembered a speech he gave at some college last year that was on the news the day he died, so I went looking for it. Found it on Youtube and watched it again and one part of it resonated with me and that part is when he retold the story of when he was 17, using a quote he read as the main point. It went something like this :

“If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right”

It made an impression on him, so each day he woke up and asked himself, if today was the last day of his life would he want to do what he was about to do today. When the answer was no for more than a few days in a row he knew that a change was needed.

Remembering you’ll be dead soon. That is the biggest tool you’ll ever encounter and it will help you make the big choices in life. 

That big choice for me would have to be potato chips.

Now some people will be thinking..."What the hell are you smoking?" and other will be thinking..."I see where you're going with this"

Now I'm not comparing myself to Steve Jobs.... that man is richer than God and Bill Gates put together and well frankly dead as well, something else I am not. I'm not some electronics genius who can see the possibilities of an everyday object and find a way to make it better. I can however understand the process he went through. For quite some time I was constantly proud of my "muffin tops" and banana loaf that was starting to protrude from where my ab's used to be and would at times quite joyously (if thats a real word) exclaim that to people, after all, ALL men go through the middle aged spread, but I'm not quite at middle age yet, well I bloody better not be. But one morning I decided a change needed to happen, I'd had enough. If I was to continue on the path I was on then yes one day I would die and most likely sooner than I would have liked and most likely from either a heart attack or a stroke. Whichever came first. I hadn't been to the doctor in about two years and I knew what he would have said (I could already see the white circles forming around my eyeballs, a surefire sign of high cholesterol, and not the good cholesterol either) and I wasn't prepared mentally for that talk just yet. A very good friend was a weight watchers leader and we had discussed me joining on the odd occassion and I'd kind of half heartedly laughed at the thought. But now as the weight starts to decrease and the rings start to disappear, I can see the benefits.

So in a way as Jobs would put it... it's all about connecting the dots. 

Day 9 - You're that blogger guy aren't you

Looks like I'm almost word famous in the Christchurch WW circles.

"You're John aren't you?"
"Yes"
"I read your blog everyday, you're really funny."


Now when it's said like that it sounds like I've been doing this for years. Honestly I haven't. This is the first ever time I'm written one and to be recognised like that is humbling to say the least. Yes I did just say it was humbling and it makes me appreciate a little more the fact that I'm sharing my journey and experiences with more than just the few people who I know personally that read it because they're worried I might ask them to tell me what they thought of the last posting.


Right my little skite out of the way. I want to tell you about my new toy. The Pedometer.... ok it still makes me laugh even when I type it let alone when I say it and sometimes I even have to stop and make sure that I link it together.

Amazing.... you can earn points just for walking and believe me I can do some walking. I clocked up just shy of 5k's between 8:30am and when the last meeting closed and we had packed up around 12:30ish. That was 1 extra point I could use for the day. Anyway meeting ended and I was off to my other job. I managed to get an extra 2 points while doing that one. So thats 3 activity points earned for the day.... this is almost as good as christmas, except without the overly fattening food or the drunk uncle that sits in the corner who thinks it's hillarious to get the baby drunk.

It's really simple to set up and even easier to use. Although a word of warning.... the judder bars at Westfield mall.... Even though you're seated in a car when you drive over them.... they register 2 steps each bump. Don't ask me why I don't know, it just decreased by 2 steps with each bump.

It's great to know I can earn points back for just doing what I normally do and it doesnt even have to be high activity... Although you do get more points and quicker if you set it and go for a run.

All I can suggest is GET ONE!

Now how far do I have to run to earn enough points for a bag of potato chips?????

Day 8 - Weigh day

There's a feeling of dread that comes over you when you step up onto those scales. The numbers start flicking by... 30.8...60.something.....98.What?.... OI!!!!! Get ya foot off there....She's lucky I've known her for so long. Bloody cheeky. So it turns out that I actually had a loss, even after yesterdays little tantrum although it could also have been that I stripped basically down to the bare essentials... wallet out of pocket... watch off... belt as well... Yes I was still dressed... that would have just been wrong and besides who really wants to look at that first thing in the morning. I have enough trouble with having to deal with myself like that let alone putting anyone else through that torment.

I am however afraid to say that yes I did celebrate the loss with a smoked chicken and cranberry bagel with lettuce and tomato and a medium sized coffee, all up about 14 points, but i had had only an apple for breakfast and it was 10:30am. L:unch was to consost of a visit to Apple land anyway. Besides today is Friday and that means Friday night takeaways. I was a little sneaky in saying "Hey Nan, let's have pizza for dinner tonight, it's on me" So I learnt yesterday Dominoes do a "Good choices" pizza, 12 points for a whole pizza to oneself. A couple of pieces of garlic bread and theer's a meal for 16 points and I still get the satisfaction of having the weekly takeaway and in a way helping not only myself by my Grandmother as well. She complains a bit about being overweight but doesn't really seem to understand that if you eat pies, savouries, chocolate biscuits and cream buns on a regular basis, you're going to put on weight. So not only am I helping myself along the way hopefully I can give her a gentle shove in the right direction.... even if she doesnt realise thats whats happening. Hey at least she's started buying bags of fruit now.

But back tpo this pizza. Now I'm not a fan of mushrooms, never have been... never will be and in a way thats a good thing. I'm somewhat allergic to them. Throat swelling... lack of oxygen, blueness and a trip to the hospital is something I'm not willing to go through even if I did like them. Even though the good choices pizza's and pasta options that they have look mighty fine, they're covered in mushy's. So of course I ordered one without and then the pimplely faced little twat asked if I "wanted something else in place of them". Maybe they didn't realise that these pizza's are measured for people like us so we know the points value of them and can safely eat them. I mean who really wants to try and work out how much extra bacon they've put on them and then find out that for the same 12 points you can only have three pieces instead of four. So being the smart ass that I am I replied "How about a swirl of chocolate?... but can you make sure that it's one with zero points in it"

"Huh?' was the reply "
"Nevermind"
"So do you want mushrroms on it or not?"

Now the last time someone serving me spoke to me like that the reply they got from me wasn't exactly polite. In fact it was quite short, sharp and too the point. "Well there's three drinks and I only have two hands..... what the f**k do you think?... Hey Ali I bleeped that one.... she'd be so proud.. :P needless to say I got given a holder for them.

Sometimes it's the little things like that that can send you over the edge.

As the day came to a close, I realised something... it's a new week, which means all new weeklies.... I have a few left over from the week. Well when I say a few... I really mean 3... well a couple would be 2 so a few must be 3 and even though I'd had some blow outs throughtout the week... (Thats 4 for those keeping track) I still managed to have a loss and have 3 points left our of the entire wekk's dailys and the weeklies.

It's a new week and I have a new toy to play with a pedometer (which as I have a sick sense of humour took on a whole new meaning for a several (several being more than some and less than a lot) hours.

Day 7 - I knew I shouldn't have done that

As with every meeting I attend the leader, thanks Ali, points out that I'm a new staff member and explains my journey thus far and then points out to people that I am also blogging my journey, from a male perspective. She also eventually gets to a point where she has to tell people that if they're a little bit sensitive about swearing that maybe my blog might not be their cup of tea. ok so I'm blunt and I tend to call a spade a spade. Which got me to thinking as I was driving to work tonight, Everytime I feel the need to curse or swear I'll substitute the word for something a little more pleasant, like Band names or something. So before I continue I'll just let you know now, thats what I'm going to do, just this once.

So this morning about 3am... I woke up, decided I was hungry and without even thinking cracked open that block of chocolate I was given yesterday, needless to say half an hour later it was finished and I went back to sleep, fully satisfied in the knoweldge knowing that I hadn't had anywhere near the amount of junkfood I would have normally have had within the last week and that it wouldn't really affect my weigh in come Friday morning.

I was scheduled to fill in at the Riccarton meeting this morning and that went rather well, I'd called in to see Ali with a cuppa so those points were registered in my head (I havent tracked the last couple of days as I've been a bit busy, but I'm pretty good with numbers as long as I remember them) Meeting done and I had to drop a set of scales off to one of her At Work meetings, which I was lucky enough to sit in on and observe some more of the signing up new people process. Of course there was another coffee before that meeting started so thats four points so far. Thats all good, I've still got 32 points for the day .... not doing to bad if I do say so myself, I may even be able to have Macca's for dinner tonight, just for something different.

The meeting ended and as we were packing up curiousity got the better of me and I asked if it was ok if I jumped on the scales...I was reminded that tomorrow is my offical weigh day but if I wanted to that would be fine. I was expecting to see some sort of loss but.... AWESOME...2.5 kg gone. I was rather excited about that prospect and then I helped gather the boxes and whatnot and we loaded up her car and I headed off home.

All the way home I was a little puzzled about the loss as it seemed like a lot to me even though I hadn't had the 7 bags of potato chips, I'd only had one. There was a rather large piece of cake and a whole block of chocolate, yes... nearly 10 hours later I remembered about the chocolate and then there was the eggs bene on the weekend. I got home and checked the orange... write your name here book for my starting weight.

QUEEN.....SPLIT ENZ.... WINGS.... MOTLEY CRUE......JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE... BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't ABBA.. believe it.. I had ADAM & THE ANTS maintained!!!!!! So much for guys dropping the weight quickly. Ahhhhh AEROSMITH!!!!!!!!!

I know a loss is a loss nonetheless and moving mountains means moving small stones first.... but to HANSON maintain. You've got to be MILLI VANILLI kidding me!

So instead of spending the last week thinking I was getting somewhere I hadn't gotten anywhere and just for that I was going to have a Quarter Pounder on the way to work and to AMY WINEHOUSE with the consequnces and thats just what I did. On my way to work I called into the local MacDonalds and got myself one and you know what?.... it tasted like (uhhh sorry but I have to otherwise it just doesnt sound right) Crap. A couple of texts later and I had asked if I could sit in on one of Ali's meetings tonight, I used the excuse about being near by and available to lend a hand with the pack down. In actual fact I just wanted to pay a little more attention to this weeks topic about forgiving oneself. I've heard it plenty of times this week but never really paid that much attention as I'd been busy doing other things. A lot of what she said and what the other members said made a world of sense and with a few words of encouragement I left feeling a whole lot better about myself than what I did when I walked in. Besides you never know... I'd be happy with a 100g  loss on the scales tomorrow. But then again.... it could be a lot worse...I could not be doing what I'm doing now... meeting a whole new set of interesting people... some of them funny some of them not so funny and I could still be plodding along... with my bag of potato chips in one hand and a spare bag next to the computer just in case the first one runs out too quickly.

Day 6 - BIRTHDAY POINTS!!!!!!!!!

Awww yeah today is my Birthday, that must mean birthday points. Apparently NOT! and nor does it mean that everything you eat only has half the point value and it definately does not mean that everything that has a point value get's added on so you have more points than what you started the day with. BUGGER!

I guess that means the Big block of dairy milk Chocolate my Grandmother got me will have to be spread out of the course of the next week... possibly fortnight. I know... she tries, she's 87... you have to let them away with things like that when they get to that age and besides at least she made the attempt. She's not quite ready for a home and not quite ready for the grave either and absolutely deadly behind the wheel of a car. Although there are days when sometimes.... just sometimes....

A couple of times in the last few meetings I've been at there have been a couple of people who have asked me why I am there...."But you're Skinny"... and even though they have heard the story about how I was a chubby kid and who used to be picked on by a teacher (Its gets told at just about every new meeting I attend) and then had lost the weight and am now slowly putting it back on they still ask. I can understand that. Although I may be at the very top end of my healthy BMI I'd like to lose the spare tyre thats slowly forming about my waist and at least be able to fit back into the BRAND NEW pair of jeans that I brought about 18 months ago and have only worn once. A lot of my journey is going to be about maintaining a certain weight, learning about the right choices in foods instead of potato chips and 3am maccers runs. I still have some weight to lose and I do believe it's not going to be an easy journey at all. In fact sometimes I actually doubt whether or not it's worth the hassle and all I have to do is look at a picture of my father when he was my age and pictures of him in subsequent years and I soon remember why I'm doing this.

As I said, today is my birthday, I'm another year older, another year closer to that "middle age spread", I'm starting to go grey and bald... Guess I'll be buying a convertible next.

On the plus side... tonight I had one of those frozen WW meals for dinner.... Nan thought I might like a heat and eat for dinner, when she got it from the freezer she was like "Ohhh sorry it's a WW one. I thought it was one of those ones in the red box."

"The Ingams ones?"
"Yeah"
"It's ok that'll be just awesome"

Heated.... Eated and it was awesome, in fact I could have probably eaten two.

Oscar was not too happy with me as he didn't even get a look in. "Sorry little fella but I licked the bowl clean"
I bent down to give him a pat, he rolled onto his back, let me start to scratch his cheast and then proceeded to show me exactly what he thought about me cleaning the plate. Yup... fountain of piddle straight up into the air.... down my arm and onto my shoe... Little bastard.

So I FINALLY got something for dinner I can point and eat without worrying too much about what it was. 5 Points... I can only hope she makes that "mistake" again.


Now...

Where's that block of Chocolate.

Day 5 - For a man to move a moutain he must first move small stones

This ones a three parter... sorry :)

Everyones journey is different but when it all boils down to it a loss no matter how small is still a loss and helps along the journey to reaching the end result.

After attending a few meetings and seeing peoples reaction to their "loss" for the week, it's hard not to take some of that a little personally. When someone steps on the scales and looks at you for some hint of what they have or haven't achieved for the week it is sometimes a little heart breaking and I really hate having to tell someone that they've had a gain. I had one lovely lady today who after we'd recorded her loss stopped to chat for a moment about her loss and how she thought it would have been bigger. I've found the best excuse for any sort of gain or unexpected result this week especially, is to blame the rugby world cup final and usually that cheers people up a bit. But it puzzled me a little that she looked a little sad about her loss. It may not have been what she expected but it was still a loss nonetheless, to which I said so "Every little bit helps along the way" She agreed but didnt really seem to want to leave it at that so I offered up something else.

"Recently I've been watching a lot of The Discovery Channel and there is an ad for a new program called Coal, it's about coal miners. About halfway through the ad there's a Chinese Proverb, For a man to move a mountain he must first move small stones" She nodded agreed with me and what I had just said, thanked me for that as she was feeling a little down about the loss, smiled and said... "You're here next week... yes?" I said "I hope so" and she left.

I left that meeting hoping that in some small way I've helped her along her way, it also, as selfish as it may sound made me feel a little good about myself.


My drug of Choice - fruit jubes.

So I woke up this morning and actually had a craving for something sweet, fruit jubes. Yes I wanted them bad. I would liken it to that of a heroin addict.

Just a little taste, just something to satisfy the urge, to take the edge off. I could stop at the required amount for 5 points, I can spare 5 points for the day. I grabbed my wallet and was about to walk out the door when I stopped and thought about it again. Actually would I be able to stop at just 5... or would that 5 turn into 6 which would turn into 10, which would turn into an empty packet?

Yeah I could do that... not a problem. I stopped in the doorway. The fact that I had just had that conversation with myself was pretty bad and I dont mean the fact that I was talking to myself, but the fact that I had ask myself if I could stop. Even now when I think about it, I don't think I could have. Well actually I know damned well I wouldn't have. But you know what..... I still bloody want them. But now it's drizzling and I can't be assed going out to get them So if anyone wants to bring me some round... my adress is..... nahhhh let's not.


You'll never shop alone again.

Never a truer word has been said. It was much later in the day, I needed a bow tie for tonight, don't know what I've done with the one I had but it's not where I left it, so I went down to the shops to buy one. Found one, brought it, was feeling a bit thirsty so decided to stop at a cafe for a cold drink. I remembered something about sugar free red bull, didn't have my guide on me so I brought one anyway. I'll work out the points later. Standing at the counter I made the fatal mistake of looking at the cabinet. This man has very little will power when it comes to treats. the girl behind the counter rang up the red bull and then asked me if I would like something else... dumb... dumb... dumb... dumb... Yup a piece of the chocolate brownie please. I had hardly eaten today apart from a family of apples and an orange, so I can spare the points for that too. It's bound to be in the guide. I get my stuff and walk out. Hop into my car and start to munch. Ohhh close to the post office box... I'll check that while I'm here. I pull into another park and there's not much left of the brownie so I cram that into my face get out and walk into the paper plus or whatever it is where the post office box is. I'm still munching away on the brownie trying desperately not to let any spill from my mouth. It's all over my teeth so I'm trying to flick it off them with my tounge when low and behold... A WW member. "Hi, how are you doing?" Busted.... Shit. I found out later tonight that she didn't actually see me scoffing away... and I had actually outted myself to the entire meeting staff when I was retelling the story later on. SHIT!

Day 4 - The evening shift

So this post isn't all about my journey, well in a weird kind of twisted way it is but in some ways it's not. You'll see what I mean.

So tonight was my first "real" meeting as staff. Welcoming people, writing of cards, tallying up, learning what to do and when... all that sort of good stuff and the continuous talking. I dont think I've talked that much in a long time, well not at one time. Must remember a bottle of water for next time... All in all a rather pleasant experience, no one seeemd to be a bit iffy about a "bloke" being there. So it's all good.

Now as you may have read...and if you haven't you should go back and look. I had a little bit of a slip while on my journey. Yes it was only day three but I dont think anyone could honestly say that they followed the plan strictly when they first started out, we are after all only human and potato chips are a hard habit to break... My slip was chippies and not just a few but a whole big bag... and lets not forget that 18 point piece of cake.... still a little irked about that one. Anyway there's this marvellous thing called activity points which lets you earn points for being, well, Active. I've got a reasonably physical job, I'm a commercial cleaner, which involves a lot of walking, bending, scrubbing, mopping of floors and lets not forget vacuuming. Which by the way you can actually work a bit of a sweat up if you do it for long enough. Luckily my job allows for at least... if I take it easy about an hour worth of vacuuming and if I move my butt I can do it in half that time and get a bit of a sweat going on. So thats exactly what I did... I hauled ass. By the time I was finished I was drenched and no i couldn't sing let alone talk... so I must have been moving. It turns out that I didn't really earn very many activity points at all... in fact just 3, which doesnt even equate to anywhere near the needed amount for anything "nice" on my way home. So I set the alarm and was in the process of locking the door, thats when I heard...the giggle...

Now most people have a fight or flight thing happen when they find themselves confronted with something that they're not expecting. I seem to have a step before that.... Assess and then decide what it is I'm going to do. I'm not a violent man, but when confronted with a situation where something needs to be done I'm usually doing the one thing most people wouldn't do... even if that does mean chasing the two wankers down the street who have just tried to steal the pushchair off the front porch, even if while I'm chasing them down the street I realise I'm only in my boxers. So as I'm standing there with the key in the door and I hear "the giggle" I look at the reflection in the window in front of me and see a scream mask coming towards me, it's Halloween and some douchebag and his mates have decided it'd be fun to try and scare the cleaner at the school. It still boggles my mind as to what drunk teenagers find amusing. Now most people would freeze to the spot or run to their car... What do I do? I turn and in my biggest scarey voice go "RRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHH" at him, to which he stops, swears and takes off. This is when his mates step out from the shadows and laughing hard. Once again the heart is racing as I dont know what they're going to do, so I, as casual as I can, walk to my car, get in lock the doors, start it and make my way home.

At this stage I'm feeling pretty chuffed with myself and decide (god only knows why) that I deserve a treat for being so brave... Any excuse will do right? So I pull into the garage and get a snickers bar. I don't know the point value and at that stage I really dont care. I haven't really eaten all day and only had two coffee's so far, lots of apples and an orange so I'm pretty safe in saying that I have the points for it. I'll worry about pointing it later when I get home and just enjoy the gooey caramel, chocolately, peanut goodness thats passing my lips... trust me when I say I savoured every single bite, yeah ok so that feeling didn't last long.

I get home and check the oven, yup there's dinner, shrivelled chops, cooked in beef dripping... mushy spud... over cooked cauliflower. I know she tries, she's 87 and she wants to feel useful... I REALLY need to buy her a cookbook or at least suggest to her she buys those microwavable WW meals, I'd be quite happy to give her more money each week if need be. It'd be cheaper and mean a lot less food being thrown out. The dog looks at me with one eye from it's bed, lifts it's head slightly, "Sorry Oscar no sausages tonight", He sniffs at me and goes back to sleep. Ahh well better than nothing. I eat what I can/ feel like eating and think about going back to the garage and getting another snickers bar. It's late I can't be assed and tomorrow is always another day. I'll just guestimate at what the point value is and call it 18 points. I'm still under for the day. I wonder if I limit myself to 4 or 5 less points over the next few days if that'll equal out the splurge form the weekend. I must remember to ask Ali this tomorrow... oh wait... it's after midnight.... it's tomorrow already.

Day 4 - Forgive me for I have sinned

Ok so after yesterdays little dance with the dark side, I had my doubts, it's going to be tough. I mean if I want a bag of chips I'm going to go down to the shop and get one and probably a bag of fruit jubes or a party mix pack at the same time... come home and eat the lot in ONE sitting and not think twice about it and to be completely honest that's what I did, well the chippy part anyway.

Although I may have felt "good" while Buying these demon "munchies" while eating them.... maybe not so much afterwards and most definitely NOT this morning.

Now unbeknownest to most people many of those potato chips and lollies contain a substance called Phenylalanine, it's an essential amino acid commonly found in the breast milk of mammals and is used in the manufacture of drink and food products. Now if anyone has read the warning labels on those packages there will normally be a warning saying that it contains phenylalanine and that the recommended usage is X amount in a day.

There's a reason they put this on the packages and there is no easy nice way to put this...a laxative effect. Yup... don't trust your farts for at least the next 24 hours.

So with three days of solid fruit eating... I've probably eaten more fruit in the last 3 days then I have in the last two years, and the mix of chippies and lollies... you can just imagine the result.

Mr Apple I hate you... But I hate Mr Potato chip even more. You were so kind to me in the past... why have you decided to Smite me like this????

Weeklies gone... probably next weeks as well.

I guess I'm just going to have to move a little faster while I'm vacuuming my schools tonight in between toilet stops.

As Olivia Newton John once said.... Let's get Physical....

Day 3 - Meetings and Breakfast... Oh dear

Oh dear is right...

"this is going to test your mental fortitude" Thats all I remember her saying and she was right. First time ordering food from a cafe. Now usually I don't worry about it and it has never crossed my mind before. Scanning through the menu.. oh good god it all looks good. So I order a coffee, yup 4 points gone... this time I made sure it was trim :)

It's suggested to me that maybe I ask about the table (we're all on the "journey") as to what others are having and that may help me make up my mind.

"Corn fritters"
"Pancakes"
"French toast"

Yeah not sounding appealing yet.... may have to go with the fren....

"Egg's Benedict"

ch toas.... I'll have what she's having....Aww yeah fuck the rules... If it doesnt get tracked then it doesnt count right?..... Met with laughter... high fives... fist pumping and then the sudden knowledge that my leader is sitting beside me giving me "the look" well screw it... it'll probably be the only meal I eat today anyway.

So I throw caution to the wind and GOD DAMN that was brillant. I'm full, satisfied and a little content. Takeaway coffee to go and off to a meeting.

Meeting goes well...apart from the car I reversed into in the carpark... thank god they were pretty good about it all and the fact gthat I'm insured. Grapes, coffee and water... well I suppose I only have to point that coffee so thats all good. I'll do that later. Signed some paperwork... I'm the only MALE meeting team member in Christchurch, I think, at this stage...The token male... I've been the token darkie but never the token male before. Ahhh well.

Meeting ends, and it's a stop at the coffee shop for coffee and cake. Well I've blown out todays points so I might as well make the most of it Mud cake with cream and alarge coffee. I'm definately not going to be hungry when I get home, so may be able to avoid the fat trap that may or may not be awaiting me, my grandmothers cooking.

Nope no such luck, it's there waiting for me... chicken tenders, fried eggs and undercooked chips... so I eat the chicken tenders, mush up the eggs into the chips and feed the chips to the dog. Which just sits there looking at me waiting for the sausages... It's ok.. I think we're having them again tomorrow night. I really should buy that woman a cookbook.

I pull out my guide and start flicking through things and pointing out the food intake for the day, yeah ok so I got the guilts and was a little curious about what I'd packed away today.... the breakfast/lunch wasn't so bad, only ended up being 15 points.. I can handle that.. so thats 19 for the day so far... add another coffee, that's 23points... coffee at meeting makes it 25... coffee after meeting... 29... AWW SHIT!.

Some serious and frantic facebook messaging later....one serve of that cake is 9 points and because there is no way that was 100grams better double it... CRAP 18points for a piece of cake.... and it didn't even leave me with a smile... FFFAAAAAAARRRRRRRKKKKKKKK!

No... no thats cool... I have my weeklies I can use. It's ok, I'll just start subtracting from them... 36 points gone for the day and with dinner thats 14.... fuck 14 weeklies gone as well...

now it's 10:36 pm and the hunger pains are starting to kick in....

Oh look what do we have here....

Hello Mr Apple... I think you and me are going to form a special relationship over the coming months

Day 2 - Well you can't sleep it off

Nope you Can't.... Not at all, doesn't work... and neither does thinking about a double quarter pounder with large fries and a coke.

More coffee.. My consumption of coffee has reduced drastically since the other day, I guess I'm becoming more aware of what goes in. Coke itself, the cola, is 3ish points for a glass... not a big glass, but a 250ml or 12oz glass. thats a lot... I can go through a 1.5 litre bottle in a day... that's going to be costly... although coke zero and diet coke are 0 points. tastes like shit but hey it's coke, those bastards should be paying me royalties for the amount of money I spend on that shit a week, bit like the coffee shop owner I get my coffee from. I'm sure I just brought his new set of mag wheels and then they have the cheek to put the prices up... I suppose someone has to pay for his transgender operation.

More apples and oranges today, they're not that bad.. well not really.

3 pm 28 points left, god only knows what has been cooked for dinner, I'm just going to guestimate it. I didn't eat it all... Ate the veggies, pushed some over done mashed spud about the plate and fed the sausages to the dog. I hope the little fucker doesnt die from a heart attack. I'm going to pity that dog in a few weeks. It's going to be the fattest chihuahua cross about.

9 points left for the day and I'm not actually hungry. Ahhh well

Day 2 - It's midnight

YES MIDNIGHT!

There are only so many apples or oranges you can eat before you really start to consider cheating you way through the rest of the day.

No one would know if I sat here and ate a bag of potato chips... well actually they would, it'd show on the scales next week... only 6 days till weigh in.

Perhaps just one more apple.... although a bag of fruit jubes sounds really good about now... they've got fruit in them... they must be a fruit right? Well actually "No"

SHIT!

Perhaps bed is the best thing after all...

I wonder if I could sleep the weight off?

Day 1 - Holy Jesus fucking Christ

Ok so a good friend of mine finally managed to get me to go along to Weight Watchers.

Bold move on my part, if you saw me you'd probably ask....WHY? And to answer that is a bit of a long story which I won't bother you with... oh ok I will then.

Many moons ago about 17 or 18 or was that 20 years I dont know but it was a long time ago, I was the chubby kid at school. The one the P.E teacher picked on, the one that got picked last for everything, the one that if they HAD to chose me they also got to pick someone else as well. As if having an extra person on their team was going to make a difference. Dicks!!! anyway... I was rather large, 5 foot 7 inches of pure lard. I weighed in at somewhere around 90 odd kilo and was the butt of most jokes that went around school. I wore a size 92 pant and even that was tight. Once I left school however the weight dropped faster than a fast thing. I had Ab's... was slender and had some muscle definition. All of that changed about a year ago. There was an event in Christchurch, a series of Earthquakes and the work started to drop off and the weight started to creep back on. Now I've heard about the carrot and corn fairy, that mysterious little creature that tops up your stomach with carrots and corn the night before a big night out on the turps. Everone at some stage has experienced this little bastard. You've just downed 8 tequila slammers and need to get the vile substance out of you again and afterwards...standing there wiping your mouth, doing the drunken spit or picking chunks out of your hair (if it's long enough and that "friend" you have didn't hold your hair back) there's always carrots and corn... no matter what... I just dont get it... even if you haven't eaten carrots or corn for months, it's there. But back to this bastardy "Fat Fairy" who seems to be adding to my waistline and ass, I've had to revert to my much loved "Fat Jeans" the ones saved for special occassions like washing day when they're the last pair of pants left because everything else is dirty, but god are they comfortable. The Ab's are gone and have been replaced by one of those mini kegs. Dad had one of those, except he looked like pooh bear. Which leads me into the next bit about weight issues. My family.

I'll put it into perspective. I'm Grandchild 48 of about 200 (well that was the count at the last family reunion and they keep breeding) it's a big Maori family, Big might not be the best word, there's a genetic trait that seems to run in the family, heart disease, type two diabetes, heart failure and very few seem to be less than 100kg. Everytime I went up to see them over the last 8 years they were always trying to feed me up, along with anyone else that was less than the weight of a minivan. Needless to say they're all rather large and I can see myself starting to creep back up into the higher weight range and possibly one day be one of them, sitting round waiting for the next game of housie to start and complaining about why lunch or dinner is taking to long to cook.

So getting back to what I originally started on about, weight watchers, joining and having the biggest JESUS FUCKING CHRIST moment in a long time. With WW you point your food, every food has a point value and you're allocated so many points for the day. Now they dont tell you want you can eat, but if you over indulge then you use more points and therefore have to resort to 0 point foods. Coolness... it was working out for me really well. I'm allowed 36 points in a day and then there are 49 points for splurging each week. Excellent. So Friday afternoon I've had it all explained to me  I've started to track my intake of food ... 8 points for coffee's for the day... cool, I can handle that. My main meal is dinner at night so that leaves me with 28 points for the rest of the day. I made the conscience decision not to use my weeklies as I could use them if I decide to do a 3am maccers run... Boss burger 19pps... cheese burger something like 8pps. Sweet 28 points and I know I'll probably need them for my grandmothers cooking... it's either burnt to a crisp, boiled to shit or deep fried. But wait a minute its Friday and that means... AWWW YEAH... FRIDAY NIGHT BURGERS....Bacon, egg and cheese burger. yup been looking forward to that all day. Excellent.... So I get home, get some money and go round to the chippie and get the friday night meal.... come home, sit down eat it and then remember I have to point it.... YOU FUCKING WHAT....16 points... gone... one meal.... SHIT! and I'm still hungry.. FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!. 12 points left..... no wait I had another coffee on my way to work... better add that one.... there goes another 4 and then there was one after work.... bye bye another 4... 4 points left, wonder what I can find worth 4 points at home?...looking...looking then it dawns....shit wait a minute they weren't trim milk... CRAP! there goes my final 4 points....0 points left for the day... tempting to start in on the weeklies but... it's only day one and I don't know if the leader is going to want to see my tracker book.... I guess it's apples and oranges for me for the rest of the day.... is it midnight yet?